Transvestia

with the name Carol Ann (it sounded nice), which was to'last for almost 9 years. And I became a femme person- ator. Not because I purchased a wig, and not because I began going out dressed, but because I believe a TV reaches the FP stage of development when he accepts his femmeself as an integral part of himself. When you can free yourself of guilt to the extent of achieving peace of mind and when you begin to develop a personality for your femme self-- then you become an FP. Whether or not she ever "goes out" is immaterial. Going out is nice, like the frosting on a cake, but it is the cake that really counts. Being an FP is a state of mind and personality, and if one is additionaly blessed with enough authenticity to "pass" in public---well good and fine. Getting to know and accept the girl within, and letting her share your life, in partnership and accord with your boyself, is what really matters. We may still be lonely having not yet met others of our kind--as I was in the 9 year interval between my acceptance of Carol and my first meeting with another FP in October 1964- - but life is no longer unbearable and the road becomes downhill.

This obstacle passed, I find that both my boyself and my femmeself have grown and matured and today com- plement each other (but still, as the French say, Vive la Difference!). Each shares my existance and I think this is the way it should be. It is dangerous to concen- trate on either to the extent that the other is neglected. There are advantages to both and although we often wish we could give our femmeselves more of our time, let's not forget that it is our male self who must face the. world and make a name for himself in his chosen field of endeavor. More important, it is the male self that attracted and won our lovely GG's (if we are martied) and a wife may enjoy the company of her "feminine roommate", but she loves the company of her husband. Again compromise is the key and each individual must seek out his own successful formula. By working toward improving or perfecting both sides of the personality. I firmly believe a TV/FP can find happiness. I have.

In any event, Carol began going out to the various cocktail lounges, costume parties and. dances that were sponsored or frequented by the gay crowd in the city, and searching vainly for another TV. (We do manage to remain

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